Thursday, November 4, 2010

"What the hell was THAT?" "nng, seizure"

This one'll probably be quick, easy, with very little swearing.

The first comment on my I-need-ideas post asked what my physical signs are before a seizure. I can do that! So, here it is. This is just what I know, because there are things apparently that other people can call out, but I don't know exactly what they are.

There's no warning before an absence seizure. They're really short, so I don't often notice them anyway. My eyeballs just roll up a little, eyelids flutter a bit, and I sometimes lose a little muscle tone. It kind of looks like I'm nodding and rolling my eyes.

Before a partial-complex there are some actual signs. For some reason I tend to have rapid fire absence seizures right before a partial complex-and this is completely neurologically backwards, but it's a consistent pattern. As soon as you point out to me that I'm having seizures, I will deny it heartily. I'm not sure if the quality or forcefulness of the denial is in any way related to the likelyhood of having another seizure, but it might be.

I lose a lot of facial expression before a seizure, sometimes my right hand starts shaking-I try to hold it still, because that totally helps, right?-and my eyes glaze a little bit. My speech changes, in that I stutter or just use very few words. I sign in a lot of environments and situations, but if I'm using sign to pull language and not really succeeding, I'm either really overwhelmed or on my way to seizureland.

The way I act changes too. There's this oh-god-oh-god-I-am-going-to-seize feeling, but by the time I get there I'm really spaced out, so the panic this incites isn't exactly effective panic. I get really passive and unable to make decisions beyond "yes or no", and sometimes even that is too complex. If I trust someone, right before a seizure I will pretty much take their advice or suggestions uncritically. That's nearly as unlike my usual me as it gets! If I know it's coming, I want to be away from people and sounds & do my best to make that happen.

Before a tonic-clonic seizure, I usually have a partial complex, & I only have them when subjected to multiple precipitating factors. Yay progress!

My in-case-of-seizure preferences are tonight or tomorrow. Riveting read, amirite?

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