Thursday, March 14, 2013

You don't get to do that here.

In response to able people behaving badly, I'm going to clarify some things about how it does-or more accurately, how it doesn't-work around here. You might get to beat people over the head with your privilege everywhere else, but around here, that does not fly. Here, I am the baseline for normal, and the views and safety of me and mine are paramount. Let's look at what that means.

So you can waltz in here. Or prance. Or skip. Or roll. I really don't care what means of locomotion you use. But after you get here?

-You may not demand a free education. This is not a 101 level blog. Clearly  you  have internet. Google your questions. Otherwise everything I tell you is at my whim. My tutoring rate starts at $20/hour and goes up from there, depending on subject and difficulty dealing with the client. If you want guaranteed 1 on 1 education, you can pay for it.

-You really may not demand a free education in the tone you want it in. Absolutely not. Shit, even if you're paying for it I snark and swear. My first language model is a snarker & I am echolalic as fuck. That's just how I talk. Suck it up, buttercup. My blog, my words, my rules.

-You may not make any demands whatsoever about tone or "civility". That is a silencing tactic. No silencing tactics in my house. If you do not have a real argument, then you don't have to say anything. "You are angry and mean and swearing!" is not news, nor is it a bad thing. You'd be angry too. "Civility" is the last refuge of the privileged when they're scared that they're losing their privilege, and I don't think you need to have all that special treatment.

-You may not be the language police (this is a corollary of the above). I know I have a potty mouth. I don't care. I know many of my commenters can articulately swear. You don't get to decide that we don't have to swear just because we can put words together pretty. That's both an access issue and another flight to privileged bullshit. I will not have it.

-Your ableist shit? It will not fly. I intend to write more about this later, but refusing to acknowledge someone's access needs is every bit as ableist as slurs or talking to someone like they're 4. Don't fucking do that. If someone has an access need & you refuse to abide by it, & they misunderstand you or whatever, you don't get to cry about it. You fucked up.

-Defending ableist shit? Also will not fly. Even giving the impression that you are defending ableist shit will not fly. So if you're "misunderstood" because you're ignoring access needs and look like you're defending ableist garbage? That's kind of your problem.

-Corollary: The devil doesn't need any advocates. If you're "playing devil's advocate" and defending ableist shit, I am inclined to believe that at least part of you believes the trash you are spewing.

-Ultimately moderating decisions are mine alone. If you're doing any of the above things, I'll probably let it through, because I do think the world needs to see what shitheaded crap I deal with on a daily basis-but I will not shield you from much that other people respond with. Just about the only things that I don't let through are dox dropping and detailed 'go kill yourself'-especially when I am out of spoons from dealing with able folks behaving badly.

-Do not put words in my mouth. I will swear. I will say your behavior is shitty, ableist, and fractally wrong. It is very rare indeed that I call a person any one thing. If I tell you to fuck off, it will be in those words. And especially do not do this and then get all whiny that I summarize you. Do not be a fucking hypocrite (see? There's me calling people a thing. Enjoy.)

-Here, you are not the arbiter of acceptable. I am. You follow my social conventions here. You may swear. You may not be oppressive. It's really that simple.


Heldenautie said...

The Workers' Democratic Socialist Kingdom of Autistica.

Because there aren't enough ceremonial heads of state and I want ceremony, damn it.

Elizabeth J. (Ibby) Grace said...

Personally, I think you should Run the World as well as your page.

Elizabeth J. (Ibby) Grace said...

Personally, I think it would be a good idea for you to Run the World instead of just your page. But this will do for now.

Fred said...

Yes indeed. Is "Good for you" ableist? Cause it's not meant that way, am neurodiverse myself.

You Choose said...

Is it rude to explain the "eye contact" thing to someone by saying, "eye contact invites interaction"? I know it's not straight forward - more of a hint, really - but if you just can't do it, isn't that better than saying "I'd rather gouge out my eye with a rusty screwdriver than interact with you, at this moment."? What do you say to people when you just can't deal with interaction? Aside from "get the hell away from me" - which is what my head is silently screaming. LOL!

You Choose said...

Also, I am new to your blog and wondering what is an "ableist" and "spoons"? I'm old - 54 - and have only recently found my "peeps", in the past 5 years or so - so I am not familiar with the lingo. Of course, I AM familiar with the swearing and the silent screaming of "FUCK YOU!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!", so I'm basically up-to-date on those things. Unless there are some new and not overly used/diluted swear words. I could use some.