I went to Geek Girl Con this weekend, and it was all sorts of amazing. It was a creep free con, which pretty much doesn't happen, and most of the panels were actually relevant to my life as a geeky, social-justicey woman. It was pretty freaking fabulous.
As I continue to review, keep in mind that we fans are toughest on the things we love. Think of it as having high expectations-I expect the world of things and people who should be able to achieve that.
Let's start with the good (mostly. I get kind of tangental):
-CREEP FREE WEEKEND. Thank you, that is all that needs saying, except it isn't. At other cons I'm afraid to cosplay, what with objectification and the sheer creepness of people who are threatened by a nerd girl or whatever their issue is. I didn't feel objectified or leered at even a little. Awesome.
-Oh my gosh, I could have spent SO much money in the vendor's hall. If you've never seen Surlyramics, you are missing out. There was so much geekery I couldn't entirely handle it.
-It was more diverse racially than pretty much every con I've ever been to. It was still predominantly white, but there were a lot of women (and men, for that matter) of color there, which I find extremely cool.
-Speaking of Teh Menz, there were way more than I expected. That's kind of awesome, because it means that there are, in fact, men who are interested in going to a con that explores a lot of feminist themes.
-HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE AS EXPLAINED BY WONDERWOMAN. THANK YOU, THAT IS ALL.
-The Women in Science and the Skepchick panels were made of amazing. Oh my gosh, I am such a freaking fangirl. Bitch Magazine had a few people there too, so...well, I'm a fangirl, I guess.
-There were so many families there with their kids. And this is really very cool-it's fantastic for the little geeklets to meet each other (and they were oh so cute-all these little kids in costumes, including a Dr Horrible who couldn't have been more than 7). It was also really rad that GGC made a decided effort to be accessible to parents.
-Speaking of kids, an elementary school student asked how to start getting into science now. Right on! And a young girl-I'd estimate age 8-10ish-corrected an adult on the Women of Harry Potter panel about Professor McGonnagal standing up FOR, not AGAINST, Professor Snape. Yeah, that's right, be certain in your knowledge. It's important for kids to challenge adults, I think.
The Bad:
-I got lost repeatedly. There wasn't enough signage for those of us who are directionally impaired.
-I bought a pair of kitty ears from a vendor. They fell apart before I ever got home. I am disappoint. They were super cute, but clearly the antithesis of, y'know, actually functional, even as a decoration.
-As a woman with a disability, I felt pretty damn under-represented on panels and such. If any of the panelists were neurodivergent, they passed pretty well. If there were presenters with any disabilities at all, I didn't see or hear of it. There were probably other under-representation issues as well.
-Some views expressed by a couple panelists were...problematic. This isn't GGC's fault even a little, but I was still kind of shocked to hear a panelist say "well, that's normal and a happy ending and Harry needed a happy ending" when a woman asked what the panel thought about the extraordinarily heterosexist and family makin' ending of the HP series. Also on that panel, stating that "no one deserves that, but if anyone does, it's [Umbridge}" when someone asked how the panel felt about Umbridge being thrown to the centaurs. Yeah, that one almost fell under WTF. Another one actually does.
The WTF:
-I was in the bathroom and a woman who used a wheel chair told off someone who was using the chair-accomodating stall as a changing booth. That's right, make sure she knows. That's awesome. Less awesome? Brain-breakingly awesome? Said chair user had strobey shit on her wheels. Um. Uh. What?
-The Big Problem that nearly ruined Saturday for me: Geek Girls in Popular Culture panel. I was so excited about this panel. It consisted of 4 women and one man, Javier Grillo-Marxuach. Apparently he's done a lot of important work on Lost and The Middleman and Charmed and other shows I've never watched. Whatever. I don't care.
What I care about is that in an unfortunately not-shocking display of privilege abuse and cluelessness, this guy totally dominated a panel about geek girl characters at a con that was supposed to be woman-centric. Fun Fact: INDIANA JONES IS NOT A GEEK GIRL. HE CANNOT BE YOUR FAVORITE GEEK GIRL CHARACTER. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. If you're going to dominate the damn conversation and talk over the female panelists (including 2 who seemed quite introverted) at least listen to and answer the actual question. Talking about your work on whatever and bringing it back to teh menz is not, in fact, feminist. Even if you can use the word "problematic" correctly in a social justice context, you can, in fact, still be problematic! A transcript color coded to see who said how much on that panel would be interesting, I think.
Overall I freaking loved Geek Girl Con. I will be back. I expect that as GGC grows, it will get better in addition to bigger. I can't wait to see what next year brings.
Showing posts with label feminism (sorta). Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism (sorta). Show all posts
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Geek Girl Con!
I'm actually on a train to Seattle for Geek Girl Con right now. I'm excited because
a) geekery? Duh?
b) they actually have a harrassment policy
c) um hello? NERDS EVERYWHERE
Is anyone else from the autismnet going? I'll be there as Faith from Mirror's Edge the first day, and Chun Li the second day (though Chun Li may, like, put on some pants later. Seattle is cold & damp) & it may be fun to meet up with intertrons people.
It'll be interesting to see how this goes; it's the first one.
a) geekery? Duh?
b) they actually have a harrassment policy
c) um hello? NERDS EVERYWHERE
Is anyone else from the autismnet going? I'll be there as Faith from Mirror's Edge the first day, and Chun Li the second day (though Chun Li may, like, put on some pants later. Seattle is cold & damp) & it may be fun to meet up with intertrons people.
It'll be interesting to see how this goes; it's the first one.
Friday, August 19, 2011
To the Girl in Missouri Who Was Attacked At School
**possible trigger warning.**
Hey there,
I don't know your name (and because of how hateful people are, I am quite glad that who you are hasn't made the media-you've had enough awful stuff from people for at least 2 lifetimes), but I do know we have a few things in common:
-We're both women/girls/otherwise female
-We're both disabled
-We've both been maltreated
-We've both had people with power fail us miserably
There are some things that you probably aren't hearing enough of.
It wasn't your fault. Nothing you could possibly have done warranted rape, or being forced to apologize to a rapist, or being assaulted, or being expelled, or being raped again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
You did the right thing. The right thing is really hard to do, because women are too often deemed responsible for bad shit that happens to us, and disabled people are too frequently viewed as not real people. That is a load of crap-you have every right to expect to be treated right. Reporting may have been the most difficult thing you'll ever do, the fallout has sure sucked, but it was the right thing. Even if you didn't know how brave it was at the time, it was courageous. Not just because you are a kid and have a disability, but because it takes a strong person to stand up for herself.
A large number of the adults in your life utterly failed you. There is no excuse, none at all. It seems like your mom is fighting pretty hard for you, but that the people at your school are fighting back, and that's disgusting really. There is nothing you did to deserve how they are handling this. Nothing, nothing, nothing. In your place I'd feel that there was nothing the school could do to make it better, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't try.
There are a lot of people out here who are outraged by your treatment. We are on your side. Some of us are women, some of us are rape survivors, some of us have disabilities, and some of us are just people who are horrified and outraged by what you've been put through. You have allies, even if you don't know us and we don't know you. WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE, and we are hoping that you get justice, and we are hoping that you are ok. We are hoping that you get what you need to thrive as you continue growing up.
In support and solidarity,
Neurodivergent K
Hey there,
I don't know your name (and because of how hateful people are, I am quite glad that who you are hasn't made the media-you've had enough awful stuff from people for at least 2 lifetimes), but I do know we have a few things in common:
-We're both women/girls/otherwise female
-We're both disabled
-We've both been maltreated
-We've both had people with power fail us miserably
There are some things that you probably aren't hearing enough of.
It wasn't your fault. Nothing you could possibly have done warranted rape, or being forced to apologize to a rapist, or being assaulted, or being expelled, or being raped again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
You did the right thing. The right thing is really hard to do, because women are too often deemed responsible for bad shit that happens to us, and disabled people are too frequently viewed as not real people. That is a load of crap-you have every right to expect to be treated right. Reporting may have been the most difficult thing you'll ever do, the fallout has sure sucked, but it was the right thing. Even if you didn't know how brave it was at the time, it was courageous. Not just because you are a kid and have a disability, but because it takes a strong person to stand up for herself.
A large number of the adults in your life utterly failed you. There is no excuse, none at all. It seems like your mom is fighting pretty hard for you, but that the people at your school are fighting back, and that's disgusting really. There is nothing you did to deserve how they are handling this. Nothing, nothing, nothing. In your place I'd feel that there was nothing the school could do to make it better, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't try.
There are a lot of people out here who are outraged by your treatment. We are on your side. Some of us are women, some of us are rape survivors, some of us have disabilities, and some of us are just people who are horrified and outraged by what you've been put through. You have allies, even if you don't know us and we don't know you. WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE, and we are hoping that you get justice, and we are hoping that you are ok. We are hoping that you get what you need to thrive as you continue growing up.
In support and solidarity,
Neurodivergent K
Monday, August 8, 2011
Body policing & erasure & such
-Yes, I realize I have some thin privilege. That doesn't stop what specifically I am writing about from bothering me.-
There's no good way for me to start this. So I'm just going to start throwing words out there and it'll sort of maybe make sense.
One of the big slogans, for lack of a better word, that I've heard a lot of in reaction to the predominant unrealistic female body type seen in the media is "real women have curves!".
By that measure, I am not a real woman. That measure excludes many many women. Many athletic women aren't particularly curvy. Many trans women aren't particularly curvy. A lot of women of all sizes are, in fact, not particularly curvy. It's body policing to exclude even one of these groups of women from the category "real women". Those skinny models who it's fun to hate on? ALSO WOMEN.
This is something that has bothered me for a while, because, well, I am a woman and I have no curves. I wasn't going to say anything about it until a website that seeks to have photos of women of "all" body types came to my attention.
"All" body types includes:
-banana (straight up and down, shoulders and hips and waist all pretty much the same width).
-pear (wider hips than shoulders)
-apple (widest in the middle)
-hourglass (I'm gunna go on a limb and assume you know what that is)
According to their classification of "all" female body types, I don't have one. I'm much wider at the shoulders than the hips, & pretty much straight up and down from the armpits on down. There's no cute fruit name assigned to that. I know quite a few grown women who are shaped like me, and a lot of growing young women who are going to be shaped like me. As a teenager and young adult, some of the adults in my life joked that I was built like a very tiny man, but I was under the impression they were kidding.
So there's a whole visceral "well that sucks, yet another way women who happen to be me don't exist". But there's also the whole thing where body acceptance isn't a zero-sum game. Or shouldn't be.
We shouldn't police women for having the "wrong" shape or size in any direction. I wouldn't dream of saying something hateful about someone larger or rounder than me, but when in the name of empowerment someone (a real someone, not a strawwoman) yells at me to eat a fucking cheeseburger or calls me anorexic or pinches me somewhere not soft (pretty much anywhere) and proclaims that real women have curves...well, I don't see how that's empowering. Disempowering someone else isn't how empowerment works.
(and that isn't even getting into how being a disabled woman intersects with this, or how accusing someone of anorexia maliciously is ableist bullshit, or a lot of other things).
There's no good way for me to start this. So I'm just going to start throwing words out there and it'll sort of maybe make sense.
One of the big slogans, for lack of a better word, that I've heard a lot of in reaction to the predominant unrealistic female body type seen in the media is "real women have curves!".
By that measure, I am not a real woman. That measure excludes many many women. Many athletic women aren't particularly curvy. Many trans women aren't particularly curvy. A lot of women of all sizes are, in fact, not particularly curvy. It's body policing to exclude even one of these groups of women from the category "real women". Those skinny models who it's fun to hate on? ALSO WOMEN.
This is something that has bothered me for a while, because, well, I am a woman and I have no curves. I wasn't going to say anything about it until a website that seeks to have photos of women of "all" body types came to my attention.
"All" body types includes:
-banana (straight up and down, shoulders and hips and waist all pretty much the same width).
-pear (wider hips than shoulders)
-apple (widest in the middle)
-hourglass (I'm gunna go on a limb and assume you know what that is)
According to their classification of "all" female body types, I don't have one. I'm much wider at the shoulders than the hips, & pretty much straight up and down from the armpits on down. There's no cute fruit name assigned to that. I know quite a few grown women who are shaped like me, and a lot of growing young women who are going to be shaped like me. As a teenager and young adult, some of the adults in my life joked that I was built like a very tiny man, but I was under the impression they were kidding.
So there's a whole visceral "well that sucks, yet another way women who happen to be me don't exist". But there's also the whole thing where body acceptance isn't a zero-sum game. Or shouldn't be.
We shouldn't police women for having the "wrong" shape or size in any direction. I wouldn't dream of saying something hateful about someone larger or rounder than me, but when in the name of empowerment someone (a real someone, not a strawwoman) yells at me to eat a fucking cheeseburger or calls me anorexic or pinches me somewhere not soft (pretty much anywhere) and proclaims that real women have curves...well, I don't see how that's empowering. Disempowering someone else isn't how empowerment works.
(and that isn't even getting into how being a disabled woman intersects with this, or how accusing someone of anorexia maliciously is ableist bullshit, or a lot of other things).
Monday, May 16, 2011
YAY ACTIVISM AND STUFF.
I attend the walks for choice that started as a response to the right wing war on women. It's really really easy to be in support of free birth control, free STD testing,accessible abortion, and other reproductive health care in the liberal city I call home. We've never been counterdemonstrated (which would be hilarious, but I'm kind of strange..) and we've had exactly one invective yelled at us. People here are overwhelmingly in support of keeping Planned Parenthood funded, keeping abortion legal, making sure that the definition of rape doesn't get so stringent that most women aren't able to deal with the already stressful reporting process, basic stuff like that. They may not be willing to walk through town chanting about free testing for everyone, but they're all for it on the inside.
The thing is, though, that there are big intersectionality issues with anything feminist. Women are not all the same. There are women of all races, women of all sizes, cis women, trans women, rich women, poor women, neuroprivileged women, neurodivergent women, women with visible disabilities, women with no discernible disability.
That is a LOT of diversity to cover. And while I doubt we have it perfect, the organizers are doing their damnedest. And I approve. Many feminist kind of things, even those that try to be inclusive, engage in some kind of erasure, be it that of trans women, or of women of color, or mothers, or disabled women.
I'm sure there's a group no one thought of yet in our area because of the privilege that comes with not being in any given minority, but I don't know who that is, and that's kind of cool. I dread so much feminist activism because of the erasure, and I am not erased. I may be the only disabled person there (more likely I am not), but the existence of people like me, and the fact that people like me also need sexual health services, is acknowledged.
They even asked me to talk about the ableism that occurs in reproductive health services. That's kind of cool. So many people think that autistic people, disabled people, are asexual perpetual children, that my experiences being acknowledged by a mainstream feminist movement makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Inclusiveness: because all of us matter. Go (my town's) walk for choice!
(yes I realize some people reading aren't pro choice. Some may even be anti contraception, which is a mindset that makes no sense to me for reasons I assume are obvious. I'd rather not have a bigass OMG BABYKILLER argument here, since the main idea of the post is YAY NOT BEING ERASED AND YAY EMBRACING DIVERSITY, not YAY ABORTIONS).
The thing is, though, that there are big intersectionality issues with anything feminist. Women are not all the same. There are women of all races, women of all sizes, cis women, trans women, rich women, poor women, neuroprivileged women, neurodivergent women, women with visible disabilities, women with no discernible disability.
That is a LOT of diversity to cover. And while I doubt we have it perfect, the organizers are doing their damnedest. And I approve. Many feminist kind of things, even those that try to be inclusive, engage in some kind of erasure, be it that of trans women, or of women of color, or mothers, or disabled women.
I'm sure there's a group no one thought of yet in our area because of the privilege that comes with not being in any given minority, but I don't know who that is, and that's kind of cool. I dread so much feminist activism because of the erasure, and I am not erased. I may be the only disabled person there (more likely I am not), but the existence of people like me, and the fact that people like me also need sexual health services, is acknowledged.
They even asked me to talk about the ableism that occurs in reproductive health services. That's kind of cool. So many people think that autistic people, disabled people, are asexual perpetual children, that my experiences being acknowledged by a mainstream feminist movement makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
Inclusiveness: because all of us matter. Go (my town's) walk for choice!
(yes I realize some people reading aren't pro choice. Some may even be anti contraception, which is a mindset that makes no sense to me for reasons I assume are obvious. I'd rather not have a bigass OMG BABYKILLER argument here, since the main idea of the post is YAY NOT BEING ERASED AND YAY EMBRACING DIVERSITY, not YAY ABORTIONS).
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thoughts for Budding Advocates
I've been around advocacy for a while-long enough that I'm baffled that people don't know what neurodiversity is & can't believe that people don't know why r*tarded is offensive, but not so long that I really expect to be 'known'. I've been called a firecracker, a force of nature, & the irresistible force meeting an immovable object-those are my qualifications to write on the matter.
This is directed at those of you who are just finding a passion & something worth speaking out about.
Know that it isn't always easy. Know that it gets harder before it gets easier, & that's not necessarily change, but you getting used to the work.
Know that people tend to hold to their prejudices. They may not take kindly to their behavior being called out. It's up to you whether or not that's a part of the battle you wish to take on-I do, but I'm not going to think less of you if it's not something you're taking on at this time. Do what you can do, y'know?
Know that as you get involved in causes-particularly social justice sorts of causes-you'll pick up on more things as unjust. You can try to save the world, but you'll burn out. We all do what we can, right?
Don't be afraid to get angry. Effective activism and polite activism are mutually exclusive. Harness your anger for what you are trying to accomplish. It's ok to offend people sometimes--they can't be offended if they aren't listening.
If you need to take a break, do it. This isn't always an easy thing, activism. That's why it's best to do what you really mean, what you really believe in.
Other people are fighting your fight too. They're your allies. They may not be your friends, but they are on your side.
Good luck changing the world, even a little.
This is directed at those of you who are just finding a passion & something worth speaking out about.
Know that it isn't always easy. Know that it gets harder before it gets easier, & that's not necessarily change, but you getting used to the work.
Know that people tend to hold to their prejudices. They may not take kindly to their behavior being called out. It's up to you whether or not that's a part of the battle you wish to take on-I do, but I'm not going to think less of you if it's not something you're taking on at this time. Do what you can do, y'know?
Know that as you get involved in causes-particularly social justice sorts of causes-you'll pick up on more things as unjust. You can try to save the world, but you'll burn out. We all do what we can, right?
Don't be afraid to get angry. Effective activism and polite activism are mutually exclusive. Harness your anger for what you are trying to accomplish. It's ok to offend people sometimes--they can't be offended if they aren't listening.
If you need to take a break, do it. This isn't always an easy thing, activism. That's why it's best to do what you really mean, what you really believe in.
Other people are fighting your fight too. They're your allies. They may not be your friends, but they are on your side.
Good luck changing the world, even a little.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The academic socialization of girls.
Not too long ago, I was a young girl. I was a smart young girl. I was a smart young girl with an aptitude for math and science.
I knew this wasn't acceptable.
Here's the thing--I don't take hints. The message has to be like a hammer on a recalcitrant nail for me to pick it up. But I still got the message, loud and clear, that it wasn't really ok for me to be good at math and science. I was in the advanced groups for both of these classes, I attended an accelerated school, and the message I got was still "being good at math and science isn't for you. It's for someone, you know, male."
As a fourth, fifth, sixth grader I started to wonder why there were only 2 other girls in my fast-paced math class. Of course a boy usually had an answer, it was a 5:1 m:f ratio-probability just says so. But I don't know that there was ever any encouragement to get us to speak up. I consistently scored extremely well in standardized testing, yet boys who I knew didn't do better than I did were selected for a couple of competitive test situations. In 6th grade when I stopped mathematically functioning between school situation induced (gifted kids are real shits, I'm telling you) depression & an 8 AM math class, it was shrugged off as "not very good at math" as opposed to, oh, maybe I was depressed or not awake or both or something? The "girls aren't good at math" wasn't so much spoken as implied.
Science wasn't quite as insidious. Early grades, yeah, I was good at science. I was allowed to be good at science-we had a teacher who was truly gifted at bringing the subject alive for all sorts of learners. Then in 6th grade, we got a pair of new teachers. The one was female & gave the impression that she was there to organize stuff & proctor tests, whereas her coteacher was male and blatantly sexist. Again, my class had a very high boy to girl ratio. That's no reason, however, to only call on boys and to have them get to do all the work in lab. This teacher actually made sure that there were no all-female lab groups for dissections because "girls think dissection is icky". Yeah, no Mr T, 11 year old me positively lived for looking at critter guts. Being a secretary? Not so much.
We had that teacher for 2 years & by the time they split our class into more advanced/less advanced groups, I was completely shocked that I landed in the warp speed group. I was bad at science, Mr T had made it abundantly clear.
Turns out, I was pretty damn good at science. Good enough to skip freshman science & beat the future valedictorian of the grade above mine in Honors sophomore science. Turns out, I was pretty damn good at math too (again, skipping freshman math entirely). But it was a bit late.
No one really said anything outright, but there was this attitude everywhere about me taking those classes as a freshman. No one would have dreamed of asking "are you sure you belong in this class?" but they thought it awfully loudly. There was a lot of scrutiny that I didn't see the few freshman boys who also skipped being subjected to. There was always that disbelief oozing off people when they saw my books or asked what I was taking. It was really uncomfortable, to the point where I stopped answering the question or doing my homework in front of people at school.
That, it turns out, doesn't work. My sophomore year (Advanced Algebra/Trigonometry) teacher was a skeezebucket, & he blatantly went out of his way to make girls uncomfortable. Do not touch me, ew. So I dropped from Honors and the general consensus was "girls are bad at math". Not "Mr H is a skeeze and why the blazing fuck is he leaning on people when they take tests?" but "well, she's a girl". Really?
And this is all considered ok and normal, even now. I work with a bunch of junior high kids who have figured out that being good at math & science is dorky for a boy, but inexcuseable for a girl. And that isn't right. I'll see a flicker of enthusiasm for something, and then they'll remember it's science and feign boredom. It's so sad. Not only is it sad, it's angry making. There shouldn't be social consequences for being damn good at something, but there are. And I blame the patriarchy for spreading the "girls suck at math and science" meme.
And for all you "women aren't interested in science careers" evangelists, I almost went to a math & science high school. I wanted to major in biomechanics. Hell, I'm in my late 20s and I still want to major in biomechanics. Too bad I was pressured to go into something else. Why? "The math & science requirements for biomechanics are pretty difficult". Even on college entrance, being good at these things was unfeminine, unacceptable.
Girls of the math & science aptitude, who see the problems as puzzles, not chores, girls who want to know how shit works, rock on. Chase your dreams. Don't let anyone, anyone, tell you that you can't be good at it, that it's too hard, that it's for boys. It's for you. You're as wired for inquiry and problem solving as anyone. Maybe when you're my age, the days in which I grew up will be the draconian stone age as far as academic equality goes.
Maybe your work will help make that happen.
I knew this wasn't acceptable.
Here's the thing--I don't take hints. The message has to be like a hammer on a recalcitrant nail for me to pick it up. But I still got the message, loud and clear, that it wasn't really ok for me to be good at math and science. I was in the advanced groups for both of these classes, I attended an accelerated school, and the message I got was still "being good at math and science isn't for you. It's for someone, you know, male."
As a fourth, fifth, sixth grader I started to wonder why there were only 2 other girls in my fast-paced math class. Of course a boy usually had an answer, it was a 5:1 m:f ratio-probability just says so. But I don't know that there was ever any encouragement to get us to speak up. I consistently scored extremely well in standardized testing, yet boys who I knew didn't do better than I did were selected for a couple of competitive test situations. In 6th grade when I stopped mathematically functioning between school situation induced (gifted kids are real shits, I'm telling you) depression & an 8 AM math class, it was shrugged off as "not very good at math" as opposed to, oh, maybe I was depressed or not awake or both or something? The "girls aren't good at math" wasn't so much spoken as implied.
Science wasn't quite as insidious. Early grades, yeah, I was good at science. I was allowed to be good at science-we had a teacher who was truly gifted at bringing the subject alive for all sorts of learners. Then in 6th grade, we got a pair of new teachers. The one was female & gave the impression that she was there to organize stuff & proctor tests, whereas her coteacher was male and blatantly sexist. Again, my class had a very high boy to girl ratio. That's no reason, however, to only call on boys and to have them get to do all the work in lab. This teacher actually made sure that there were no all-female lab groups for dissections because "girls think dissection is icky". Yeah, no Mr T, 11 year old me positively lived for looking at critter guts. Being a secretary? Not so much.
We had that teacher for 2 years & by the time they split our class into more advanced/less advanced groups, I was completely shocked that I landed in the warp speed group. I was bad at science, Mr T had made it abundantly clear.
Turns out, I was pretty damn good at science. Good enough to skip freshman science & beat the future valedictorian of the grade above mine in Honors sophomore science. Turns out, I was pretty damn good at math too (again, skipping freshman math entirely). But it was a bit late.
No one really said anything outright, but there was this attitude everywhere about me taking those classes as a freshman. No one would have dreamed of asking "are you sure you belong in this class?" but they thought it awfully loudly. There was a lot of scrutiny that I didn't see the few freshman boys who also skipped being subjected to. There was always that disbelief oozing off people when they saw my books or asked what I was taking. It was really uncomfortable, to the point where I stopped answering the question or doing my homework in front of people at school.
That, it turns out, doesn't work. My sophomore year (Advanced Algebra/Trigonometry) teacher was a skeezebucket, & he blatantly went out of his way to make girls uncomfortable. Do not touch me, ew. So I dropped from Honors and the general consensus was "girls are bad at math". Not "Mr H is a skeeze and why the blazing fuck is he leaning on people when they take tests?" but "well, she's a girl". Really?
And this is all considered ok and normal, even now. I work with a bunch of junior high kids who have figured out that being good at math & science is dorky for a boy, but inexcuseable for a girl. And that isn't right. I'll see a flicker of enthusiasm for something, and then they'll remember it's science and feign boredom. It's so sad. Not only is it sad, it's angry making. There shouldn't be social consequences for being damn good at something, but there are. And I blame the patriarchy for spreading the "girls suck at math and science" meme.
And for all you "women aren't interested in science careers" evangelists, I almost went to a math & science high school. I wanted to major in biomechanics. Hell, I'm in my late 20s and I still want to major in biomechanics. Too bad I was pressured to go into something else. Why? "The math & science requirements for biomechanics are pretty difficult". Even on college entrance, being good at these things was unfeminine, unacceptable.
Girls of the math & science aptitude, who see the problems as puzzles, not chores, girls who want to know how shit works, rock on. Chase your dreams. Don't let anyone, anyone, tell you that you can't be good at it, that it's too hard, that it's for boys. It's for you. You're as wired for inquiry and problem solving as anyone. Maybe when you're my age, the days in which I grew up will be the draconian stone age as far as academic equality goes.
Maybe your work will help make that happen.
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