Sunday, July 12, 2015

My disability is ALL ABOUT YOU.

You figured it out.

I am epileptic, and have seizure triggers out in the wild, just to inconvenience you. It is something I decided to make happen with my sheer desire to piss you off. That's how it works. You are the center of the world, so much so that I altered my brain in a life threatening way in order to fuck up your day.

That's how it goes.

I choose to be unable to go to dance things, though I am a good dancer, because too many flash cameras & poorly balanced bass can kill me. Yes, dance people, you are oppressed by my seizure disorder, which developed solely to make your life harder. The ADA is also fascist oppression all on poor widdle you. Because disabled people exist to upset your life.

Cyclists: my photosensitivity is actually a conspiracy by Big Automobile to get you squished like a pancake. You're exactly right. That's why the rape & death threats are acceptable, I'm working with big business. So yeah you're totally in the right continuing to knowingly hurt me, because my brain was specifically engineered to make your life harder (gosh, empathy is tough isn't it?)

Autism conferences? All of you (there's one that hasn't had someone who was there to make money attack me with something potentially deadly. ONE)? Yes, I developed epilepsy, just like 30%+ of the autistic population, because I am a meaniepants who wants to make your life hard. I know my ADA rights to be difficult. To be confrontational and noncompliant. I am being a literal shit & thinking they actually apply to me because I want to make your life miserable--not because I have a right to live my damn life and to go to things that are about me. Nope. That funky EEG exists *just to inconvenience you*.

That's the whole reason. You folks are super important. And seizure activity makes me panicky because I'm just an asshole who wants to yell at you while you or people you hired are actively causing me harm. I totally haven't learned too much about SUDEP or status epilepticus (which I am consistently having to teach you people about. Like you ever listen. Ever. No, learning is the oppressor! How dare I try to instruct you!)

Quacks & altmed people who are into sound and light woo? Yes. I am so hell bent on debunking you that I have seizures over it. I know, I know, die off herxing negativity whatever. It's just to keep you from making money with your bullshit. Except the part where this is the place that so many so called skeptics will err on the side of shitting on disabled people ("stay in your house!" because once again empathy & the ADA are fascism) rather than debunking the low hanging fruit you're selling. But still, it's all about you too.

Yeah, usually-debunkers, I notice. I notice. It's all about you, too, though. Gosh, you have to pick between your favorite people to shit on! I make your life so hard. Harder because I know my rights & I call you shitty bigots when you're being shitty bigots.

And then when I defend my rights, I'm the bad guy. Because you are so important. Thinking about other people is hard. Epilepsy makes you uncomfortable. You have no problem getting on your high horse when someone whose consciousness is altered is attacked (because of the presence of an attacker thank you, no one ever 'asked for it'). Moralizing and shit. But you moralize at me when, yes when, something happens to me because I was seizing because of shit people you relate to were doing? And you feel very uncomfortable. So the obvious answer isn't for you to grow some damn empathy. It's to decide epilepsy exists just to inconvenience you.

So, fine, you're right. I am going to die an unpleasant death, triggered by some self righteous asshat (note that all these categories are full of self righteous asshats? They really are), because my brain engineered itself all for them. It's totally all about you. You're right.

For my brain to be about me I'd have to be a Real Person. How could I ever forget that I'm not, & therefore do not have the rights of one?

1 comment:

Lynn said...

So much horseshit, isn't it? But yet you're supposed to be nice about it. Fuck that.