Most of you likely aren't going to like this. In the words of swim coaches everywhere, "Suck it up, Buttercup." It's true.
A lot of people my age and a little older are leading the anti bullying charge. A lot of parents, mostly, and adults who were bullied as kids, and parents of kids who were bullied.
Welcome to the fucking 80s & 90s, kids. Bullying was a problem when I was a kid. Bullying was a BIG problem when I was a kid.
By "big problem", I mean:
-I got thrown down the concrete stairs at my school.
-I got stuff thrown at me.
People put stuff in my hair & smeared it on my uniform skirt.
-I spent 2 years avoiding art class because of the rampant hooliganism (and I have not picked up a single paintbrush without throwing up since 5th grade).
-I got locked in a locker.
-I got suspended for getting myself OUT of said locker.
-Pinching, pulling, shoving, mocking, alternating excluding & including to have an object of mockery, and more.
-There was such a culture of asshattery, physical & emotional torment, and general being shitty excuses for human beings that the last time I went into that school building, I-again-couldn't stop throwing up.
-The administration aided & abetted by ignoring & telling me it was my fault for, I guess, being there.
This was at the 'smart' school, full of 'good kids'. I have clinical PTSD from my 'smart' school full of 'good kids'.
Now those same 'good kids' are involved in leading the charge against bullies. Do they not know what they are? They are bullies. They are repugnant. They are hypocrites.
That's right, hypocrites. If you behaved like my classmates did, and are now against it-without ever acknowledging that you were the biggest turd in the toilet bowl-you are a hypocrite.
You don't want your kids to go through what you put me, yes me, or others like me, through. Yet you won't admit "I am a shithead. Who I was as a middle schooler is exactly what I am fighting against, because I was a shithead."
We can't have that. All the children of my generation suffered overly inflated self esteem and became bullies, were coddled for being bullies.
Do they remember what little assholes they were? How could they not? Do they really think they were so fucking awesome that they're exceptions to the "don't be a jerk" rule? But the children their kids are interacting with aren't?
Maybe they DO remember what fucksticks they were & don't want to admit it. Then they'd be -oh noes- wrong about something. Ever.
We can't have that.
If you want to fight bullying, start by admitting you SUCKED. Admit it loud & often. Don't make excuses. Just do it. "I sucked and I am sorry. Here are the ways I sucked. If you, progeny mine, ever pull the kind of shit I pulled, I swear to $DIETY I will hand you over to your victims to be a pinata, as my parents should have done with me, because I deserved it & you would deserve it too."
That's the first step to joining in-admit YOU sucked. If your kid is being bullied, tell them YOU sucked, just like the kids they are dealing with. You don't get the martyr point of view if you were one of the asshats like the ones I went to school with-fight for your kid, but don't dare act like you are the one being hurt by bullying or that bullying is new.
The kids being bullied are the ones suffering. The kids who you bullied, who have PTSD from your behavior, we suffer. Don't fucking DARE say it has always been your cause if it hasn't. Stand with us instead of shouting us down for a change.
And no, I don't forgive you. And I never will.