tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2147438406266555027.post3996599932466514625..comments2024-02-04T16:46:03.204-08:00Comments on Radical Neurodivergence Speaking: We Aren't Here to be Your "Resource"Neurodivergent Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02815685510033244185noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2147438406266555027.post-51765486408733271702011-08-30T10:36:23.248-07:002011-08-30T10:36:23.248-07:00Heck, I don't even mind the translation proces...Heck, I don't even mind the translation process as much, as long as it doesn't require me to go into details that even as a person on the spectrum I'm quite aware is socially inappropriate. <br /><br />"I'm really frustrated trying to communicate with my child, I can't tell when he's having a tantrum cause he's a brat, or having a meltdown cause he's overwhelmed, and it's causing me to react badly to both. Can you give me any insight?"<br /><br />I'd answer that question happily. No big deal.<br /><br />K and I were on a Facebook group together where we both identified as Autistic. The first question the parents got together and asked us was about how to get their kids to poop in the toilet vs smear it on the walls. (For the record, the only child I've seen smear poop was my completely neurotypical brother.) I mean... not only were we instantly expected to be universal translators, but they immediately went to poop? <br /><br />I don't mind helping break down communication barriers. That's good! I do mind being asked about bodily functions, how it felt to start my period, how it feels to be a pregnant Aspie (really!), am I able to enjoy sex (this one still makes my head hurt), etc. And then, when you try and tell people to MYOB, that's really personal, and my sex life is really none of your business... we're vilified. We're told we clearly must not care about other Autistics. We're told that we're over reacting, and defensive and frankly Just Plain Mean for not being willing to talk in great detail about incredibly private things.<br /><br />It's like a certain subset of parents feel entitled to a window into our lives, regardless of whether or not we've opened the shutters. And that's what isn't cool.Liahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18194197754510246067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2147438406266555027.post-40960799062092488112011-08-23T22:26:02.434-07:002011-08-23T22:26:02.434-07:00Asking advice on how to understand and be understo...Asking advice on how to understand and be understood isn't the same as the Universal Translator Demand. Not even a little. If it is, someone is doing things wrong.<br /><br />I am all for respectful two way how-to-interact-better conversations. I am NOT ok with the barrage of questions about anything and everything from parents of autistics, who expect us to answer every personal question but won't answer us anything.<br /><br />We aren't tools put here to make parents' and pros' lives easier. We have our really real own lives.<br /><br />Reciprocity is a big thing in these conversations. If someone asks me how to meet me halfway, when I'm done being stunned silent I am going to be THRILLED to answer them. When they ask me about my bowel movements, I want to stab them with a spork. Make sense?Neurodivergent Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02815685510033244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2147438406266555027.post-51062339973655733782011-08-23T04:25:46.794-07:002011-08-23T04:25:46.794-07:00But it's ok for us nominal NT's to ask for...But it's ok for us nominal NT's to ask for advice on how to interact with you directly though, right?<br /><br />It seems that a dialog that leads towards understanding between different points on the neurodiversity spectrum should encouraged. Since we cannot separate ourselves from our minds, there is no way to abstractly define <i>how</i> we think - without comparison, there can be no understanding.<br /><br />And without that understanding, all we can be to each other is, well, Other. no?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com